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Steve D.'s Journal  I love April Fools' Day. It's the one day a year when I am free to express my dubious and cynical nature for all the world to see, and not only NOT get into trouble for it, but get rewarded and thought of as "clever" for it. For example, I see an article that exclaims some crazy thing like an American Airlines flight from Tokyo was quarantined because two crew members and two passengers apparently had this stange pneumonia called Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome or "SARS." Ha! Real funny guys. What a load of horse-shit. Ha ha, April Fools, assholes. What's that? That actually happened? No way! Fuck my ass, it did! Okay, so that's a bad example, but you all saw them, those fake stories and whatever. Lame excuses at subterfuge and deceit all for a cheap laugh. It's the one day that a nation literally teeming with bullshit, convinces itself to just revel in its own craziness. I've got to support that kind of crazy self-destructive behavior. But April Fools' isn't all great. Let's face it, a lot of these supposed "jokes" or "gags" are pathetic. I mean, really pathetic. I mean like "Oh yeah, me and this chick you've never heard of or met and can't possibly ever meet or talk to totally did it . . . a lot!" kind of pathetic. I mean stuff that makes "we're only going in there to get those weapons of mass destruction" look like decent, almost credible lies by comparison. And frankly, these half-assed "leg-pullers" piss me off. If you're going to bullshit me, at least show some effort or talent. Give me some shred of something rational to hang onto as you try to spoon-feed me a line of April Fools' crap. I'm not a third-grader, I'm a jaded goddamn twenty-something. I stopped looking "gullible" up in the dictionary years ago, (okay I did it once today, but my sister swore it wasn't in this year's version). So basically what I'm saying here is, you people suck at lying and unless you get better at it, leave it to professionals like lawyers, politicians, and mechanics. I like my bullshit of fillet mignon caliber. Keep that hamburger crap to yourself. In summation, the next person that tries "pulling my leg" in the future in order to pull some lame prank is likely to get a swift kick to the face with the other one. I get enough spin from the news these days, I don't have the energy to sift through mamby-pamby bullshit just to find out when my lunch hour is or when a paper is due. The truth is, April Fools' is a redundant concept anyway. A real "holiday" would be "brutal honesty day." In fact, I am officially re-naming April 1st "Brutal Honesty" day. Tell people what you really think of them, act like you want to act, and stop bullshitting for 24 hours. If our country could do THAT every first day in April, just that one day, that would be something. Current mood:  irritated.Current music: The Offspring - Original Prankster. Well, I'm still trying to sort out my feelings on this whole Livejournal thing. See, I don't really like talking about myself or my life for some reasons I'll get to in a minute, so I still find it hard to imagine that I'll show up here and update regularly. Still, I get questions from folks about why I don't update anymore and since I'm just a big fuckin' marshmallow, I say "sure, why not? I'll update it." And then I just blow it off because frankly, that's easy to do. So now, to my reasons for NOT updating for a few months now: 1. Like I said, I don't like talking about me. Frankly, I find myself and my life pretty damn boring. Sure, some weird-ass stuff happens to me from time to time, but not on a regular or dependable basis. So what is my life about? Work, which all I can do is complain incessantly about, and school, ditto. That's it. That's what I do. That's all I feel comfortable talking about here or anywhere. And since I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch every time I get on here, I don't like talking about either of those subjects. You can see how that leaves me little to work with. The truth is, I'm a pretty private person and I kinda like it that way. 2. I don't write this for my pleasure. That's probably the problem. If I enjoyed this kind of "how's your day, here's mine," kinda thing, I'd show up more often, but the truth is, it's not fun to me. I can write about a ton of things that I find interesting but would be boring or irrelevant to you, which kind of defeats the purpose of an ONLINE journal, doesn't it? 3. I don't feel compelled to invest the time to reliably update. This goes back to reason two. If I enjoyed this more, I would spend more time not only writing my own entries, but also reading everyone else's. It's not fair of me to expect other folks to check out what I'm writing if I can't take the time to check their stuff. So what's that all mean? Well, I will be back here, but not reliably. I just can't get into it that much. Sorry. So don't check every day. Check once a week if you're jonesing and not afraid to be disappointed. Check like once a month and if you're lucky there'll be two or three entries waiting for you. That's the most I can offer right now. It also means that my entries will probably have very little if nothing to do with me. I don't know what I'll write about. Maybe it will be a story, an opinion piece, who knows. When I feel the need to write, I'll just do it here. So if you want news about me, this won't be the place to come. Okay, that does it for me for tonight. I'll be back, in the broad sense of the word, "soon." Current mood:  contemplative.Current music: Blair playing Unreal Championship. Well, this entry ought to be pretty light since what could have possibly happened between now and yesterday, right? I mean, I'm not on that show "24" or anything, I'm just a normal guy, right? Or am I? So Blair's over. He's cutting up comics. Not MY comics mind you, so you can put that gun away. He bought a bunch of 25 cent comics at the shop and is butchering them now in order to hang choice panels, such as Robocop fighting a roboticised gorilla, on his wall. Actually, it's looking pretty cool so far, and there is some downright weird/funny stuff on there. I might steal the idea, though I don't know who will do my cutting. Im got used to those dull, lefty scissors in public school, so I can't cut anything with percision with anything else. I finally got GI Joe the movie on DVD today while we were at the comic shop and hell yeah I watched it! AND I watched all 25 public service announcements, you know, the "knowing is half the battle" things? Oh man those are awesome. Blair's partial to "Clothes catching on fire," while I prefer the more metaphysical "Better Solution" in which boys playing baseball argue about a call and bring Tommy over to ump since he's just watching. I think Tommy's watching a boys baseball game because he's a pedaphile, but that's just my twisted imagination. Well, that's about it for today. Tomorrow I'm going to see K-19, the Widowmaker, for free which is nice, and then you know, work and stuff. All right, I am out for now. Porn can't download itself . . . or can it . . . ? Current mood:  lethargic.Current music: Jay Leno re-run. So I was browsing the "intra-net" as I so often do these days and I found my trackball drawn, as though it were the cursor on some great Ouija board to a little heading near the top of my Internet Explorer window. It's about the fourth one over from the right. "Favorites" I think it says. Yeah, that's it. So anyway, the ghost-hand controlling my trackball clicked the left button and started scrolling down the list. Now somewhere between "Live Hot Nude Chicks with Dicks" and "Lots 'o' Anal" was this entry entitled "Live Journal." Where had I heard that name before. So, I clicked it. And now I'm here, back at my old stomping grounds hammering out some inane drivel about my pesky little existance, almost in mockery of others with bolder, richer, fuller lives. Ha ha! I mock at you, you bolder, richer, fuller people! So, as the Staind song says, it's been awhile. But forget about those long weeks of waiting for your Steve-fix! The dawn of a new, er, old age is upon us, in which I will pound away here for you, my capitve, er, "loyal" reading audience. Besides, I missed my soapbox. Where is that old thing anyhow . . . So apparently the holocaust wasn't so bad and neither was Hitler, or so says one of my FORMER history instructors at the USC. I won't say who 'cause someone might get an itchy trigger finger, (me actually, the guy was just nuts. Hopefully I can forget his name and face so as to not be haunted by my duty as a human being to have him whacked.) On a lighter note, found my soapbox. It was under the porn. Around here, everything's under the porn. Socks? Under the porn. Shoes? Under the porn? Watch, wallet, and keys? Porn, porn, and under that pile of used tissues under the porn. Didn't you miss me? So school has started again and you all know what that means. New lovely ladies as far as the eye can see. Sure there are some of the familiar faces, (as well as other body parts, wink wink), still strolling by on that Sierra College-patented five-year plan, but there are more and more new girls everywhere. Even at work we got a shot in the arm. No, literally. They said it was to for "tracking purposes," whatever that means. Oh yeah, and there's new girls there too. I have settled in nicely as the dependable funny-guy. Sure, he's friendly, he makes you laugh, but then WATCH OUT! He'll grow on you like fungus on that half-eaten bologna sandwich you accidentally left and forgot about in your locker. I'm like that one guy in that episode of "Seinfeld," the sidler. I sidle in and BAM! You're mine. Well, Blair is back from Australia where apparently there is a hot girl behind every iceberg. In other news, I plan to move to Australia where a heavy population of so-so-looking ladies who must have lowered their standards out of sheer survival instinct will be weak and vulnerable to my highly-toned sidling technique. Watch out, mates, if you CAN! Muwahahaha! As yet there has been no comment from Blair on my insistance that he demand that some "shrimp" be "put on the barbie." Well that about wraps things up for now. As always, I can assure you that I will promptly follow this entry up with yet another exciting, er, not-quite-sleep-inducing tale of the ongoing experiment in mediocrity, (and porn), that is my life. Until next time, good night, and if you're reading Blair, call my cell. Note to self: Get a cell phone. Note to self: Make sure IE window is closed and that you are in Word before typing notes to self. Note to self: Doh! Current mood:  dirty.Current music: Boxcar Racer - There is. This shall be rememberred now as the weekend of LJ updates for me. Mostly this ties in to like boredom and stuff like that. Do you ever get one of those moments when you realize that you are not and adult and you probably should be at least some of the time? Yeah, I usually kill those with video games and writin' but I think that I'm going to let this one simmer a little bit. I've got some stuff to get done and I have to get my ass in gear a little bit to do it. The hardest part about that is keeping up the momentum, staying with it over that hump of inertia. For me, inertia is a powerful force. I am an object at rest naturally and anything beyond that requires a massive amount of physical, mental, and emotional force. Okay, we've established long ago that I am plagued by several debilitating mental defects that cripple me socially. So now that that's settled maybe this will make a little sense. My mom's parents, my wonderful grandparents, are having their 60th wedding anniversary in August. 60 YEARS wow! Pretty damned impressive. So here is the downside. There will be a professional photographer. I am expected to not only dress up, but I am expected to pose for pictures! I HATE PICTURES OF MYSELF! I try to sabotage every one, even ones that are casual and for friends. Ask Blair about the one with him, me, and Welch at our Academic Awards night. It turned out really funny because it looks like I'm drunk. Those pictures are okay. Real pictures suck. So I am strictly forbidden from doing ANY funny stuff in ANY photos and the penalty will be "severe." My mom is seriously on the warpath about this one. So yeah, dressing up, then getting photographed, then add that there will be some sort of "open mike hour" when all of my cousins and I are expected* to do or say something or show off some sort of talent. *: I don't mean expected in the usual sense. The only way to explain it is that scene from "Office Space" when the manager at the TGI Fridays place is talking to Jennifer Aniston about her "flair." In other words, there's no direct retaliation for not performing, just the usual deridements that make family special. Now add to this that I am an extreme introvert and I hate extended family gatherings and it factors out to a day in the seventh circle of hell for me. I would seriously rather be at work. I know that if I don't go though, reprisal will be huge. It's almost worth it to just lump the pain into one big burst of righteous maternal fury instead of extending it out over a whole damned day. Okay, so you people must either think I'm crazy, (yeah probably), or despicable or both. Well I'm just a boring guy who doesn't like to be photographed or be around people. Is that so wrong? Current mood:  aggravated.Current music: Movie - Sneakers. Okay, so I don't know if there is a word for the opposite of tired. It's not "awake" because I am more than that. I am just so completely un-tired right now that it's scary. I've tried everything from reading to writing to playing video games to working on roleplaying stuff. Nothing is screaming "hey go to sleep you idiot" except my clock which says that I have to be up in six hours. So I just decided to come here and post again, raise up the ol' tally a bit. I wonder what Blair's up to now? It's probably like five in the afternoon there. Is he suggesting right now that someone have a "g'day" and "throw some shrimp on the barbie?" I hope so. All right, I'll go do something productive or whatever. Good night, er, morning. Yeah. Current mood: Un-tired. Yeah, today was family day and nothing shows you who you are better than spending a day with people who share at least part of your genetic makeup. Now some families like to do activities together, you know bicycling, hiking, camping, a game of softball maybe. My family is a little more low-key and a lot more criminal. The start of a family day might start like this: "What are you up to today?" "Nothing." "Want to go bowling?" "Too tired." "You just woke up and it's frickin' bowling!" "Yeah, way too intense." I won't specify who's who in that scenario, but the people around here know what I'm talking about. So today we went to the movies. My mom and I were both pumped to see the sure-fire summer blockbuster "Road to Perdition." Wait, I thought Oscar movies came out in the fall? Who cares, it's Tom Hanks shooting people! That kicks ass no matter how you slice it. "Hi, I'm hollywood leading man and nice guy Tom Hanks. I've been hired by the mob to kill you." BLAM BLAM BLAM! "Have a nice day." Okay, so it wasn't quite like that, it was still cool and very VERY well done. You might have been hearing all of this crap floating around about "best movie of the year" and "surefire Oscar-winner" and normally a disbelieve all of that hype. Believe the hype about this movie. Great story, great acting, great visual style. If you love movies, you have to see this one. But enough movie review, let's get back to the part about my family being criminal. So on our way in to see the homicidal Mr. Hanks, we all noted that we would like to see "Reign of Fire" as well, although, who among us would be willing to pay for it? So then came my joking suggestion, "Well we could always just theater-hop." The next thing I knew, we were formulating a plan to best counter the top-intelligence at Roseville Century 14. After "Road" ended, we all went to the bathroom. Hey, I had a LARGE cherry coke and all of the ice melted. I had to let loose. Then we just nonchalantly passed by management, my mom stopping to do some sort of move she learned from watching the old "Mission: Impossible" TV show. Ten minutes later, our free screening of "Reign of Fire" began. That movie was great! Okay, now bear in mind all movies get better the less you have to pay for them. I saw "Osmosis Jones" for free and I came out of the theater and said that THAT was "okay." Now we both know it was poo, but for me, it was free poo. "Reign of Fire" is better than "Osmosis Jones." It's worth a look if you have time for a matinee and don't like your movies all "thinky." A word of warning though, do NOT sit next to a sissy-girl who jumps at every loud noise because there are many. So now I'm home, thinking about food later. Maybe sooner. Tomorrow is my reunion with day-shift. That means the customers are back, and they're probably kinda pissed that I left. I am kinda responsible for keeping the store running. I worked 38 hours this week and I STILL got a call to come in this morning! I was like, "Listen, I need some ME-time! I just give and give and give." And they were all like whiny co-dependent girlfriend. At least it feels good to be desired. Later. Current mood: lazy.Current music: The sound of typing. Okay, gotta keep this short because I have to be at work in half an hour. That's right, WORK in HALF AN HOUR. I've been working nights this week, (midnight to 8am) setting up the back-to-school area of the store. So if you find yourself in the Roseville Target and happen to swing by the school supplies, you will know that I spent an inordinate amount of time late at night caressing them all and placing them delicately on the shelf in exactly the right place. Imagine that applied to a wall of frickin' pens! So is overnight better than day time? In most respects yes. The hours aren't bad, (I sleep from about 8:30am - 5pm), and I don't have to deal with those customer-type people. Since they mostly suck, I am glad to be rid of them, if only for a week. Add that the work ranges from slightly more entertaining to just as boring, it's an okay deal. Only downside so far is trying to sleep when it's light outside. But a blanket over the window is helping do the trick. So what else is new? Got to hang out with Joel on the fourth during which we celebrated our nation's freedom by playing videogames for hours on end stopping only for food. I didn't even take a bathroom break. This was 12 hours people! That is how dedicated I am to my country and my video games. What can I say? I'm a patriot. A sad, overweight patriot. Saturday was BNO and it went "eh." What is "eh?" It's like "fine" only not as good. Yeah Beavis and Butthead, (aka Special Ed and Welch) were in rare form and could not stop laughing about a starport and docking bays for like twenty minutes. It's nice to know that absolutely EVERYTHING can be looked at from that 7th grader Freudian context. Then there was the not-so-special Edwards brother who spent the entire night rummaging around in the rulebook. I know the damned rules! Just roll the damned die and I'll tell you what happens! So needless to say, the session dragged. By the end of the night the guys had made it through like a third of the adventure I had spent hours, (that should have been invested in sleep mind you), writing. At least all is done for the next session. But this prompted me to send a little note to Welch the next day. The not-so-special Ed is driving me crazy. I don't despise the guy, but he starts to grate on me in shorter and shorter time spans. Welch has the same problem but uses me, the GM, as kind of a buffer. Meanwhile I'm about ready to take a hostage. So I sent Welch a note asking if we could start running a second game, just me, him, and Special Ed. I'm still waiting for a reply, but using my formula, (two days per paragraph sent) I should get one next week. I should really cut back on the dialog in my e-mails. It's hot! Too hot! You damned day-dwellers will be the end of us all! I don't know about you suckers, but I'm switching over to nocturnal for the duration of this suck-ass heat wave. Until then, may you all be able to convince your parents/roommates to allow you to bring a kiddie pool into the house to sit in while you watch TV and eat Cheetos. Boy is that the life. Make sure to put a tarp down. Okay, I'm out. Current mood:  awake.Current music: The Wallflowers - Sleepwalker. Hello everyone, this is entry number 43. My name is Steve some people call me a Space Cowboy. Okay, the coolest thing ever made in anime was just on Cartoon Network. No, I'm not talking about "Akira" or "Vampire Hunter" or even "Gundam Wing." I am talking about the one, the only, "GI Joe: The Movie." This baby has it all, great animation, wonderful voice-acting, and some of the greats like Don "Miami Vice" Johnson, Burgess "The TV Penguin" Meredith and who could forget Sgt. Slaughter? I need to find this movie on DVD, seriously. So Blair left for Australia. I don't think that we've ever been this far apart from each other in our entire lives. I'll admittedly miss his mooching ass, but not for a few more weeks yet. I hope he has a good trip and checks in once in a while. I forgot to tell him to count how many "g'day"s he gets and to ask at least three people to put some "shrimp on the barbie." I suppose that I have to send that pyschically. Had lunch with Blair and Joel and Welch and Special Ed today. Finally tried the famous Wiener Works. Good stuff but afterwards I was let down. The local 7-11 has discontinued their Dr. Pepper Slur-pee for A new Vanilla Coke one. As if I could not hate Vanilla Coke more than I already do, it had to steal my DP Slur-pee's slot! Work sucked as work tends to do, but I have TWO days off now, boo yeah! Tomorrow Joel and I will do something, maybe a movie or something. Looks like Saturday night is a BNO, (Thanks for the notice fellas!) so I am racking my keyboard overtime to pound out a decent adventure. Of course, I'll probably just forget some or all of it like I have the past two time, dammit. On the video game front, I've been keeping my eye on a new game from Namco called "Dead to Rights" for the Xbox. The trailer for it was just released today. I just saw it and man does that game look cool. Looks like August 20th kicks off months of superior gaming and I can't wait. Okay, sleep, that seductive temptress beckons. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. Current music: GI Joe: The Movie. Good evening, this is entry number 42. My name is Steve and while I am here all week, do NOT try the veal. So, you all know about this "Game of the Week" schedule I've been on. Okay, it's kind of an exaggeration, but not by much. So last week I picked up my first new Gamecube title for a while called "Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem." Now this game had been in development for almost four years. With top talent behind it and Nintendo eventually buying the company making it, all seemed set for my purchasing the title. But would it be worth the wait? Yes. Yes. A thousand times over yes. It is not the prettiest game I own, I have been spoiled by the Xbox in that department, but it is damned near the coolest. You play as several different heroes spanning millenia and everything revolves around this demonic book and raising some sort of dark god. Now throw in chopping zombies apart and you've got yourself some kick-ass gaming. Then there's the magic system which is deep and cool and easy to use all at the same time. Then toss in puzzles that are just about the perfect amount of challenge without being ridiculously long or rambling, (*cough* Resident Evil *cough*). Add great camera work, solid control, and top-notch (for a video game), voice acting and you have this game. The best yet on the GameCube? Yes. Without a doubt. For scares, go RE, for overall fun, go with the Darkness. But that's not all, this game introduces one of the coolest concepts I've seen in a while, a sanity meter. Now, each time your hero runs into some monstrosity he begins to lose his grip on reality. The only way he can reclaim it? Terminate undead minions with EXTREME prejudice! So what happens when your guy goes bonkers? Well, it starts with the camera tilting a little oddly. Then you'll notice things like statues' heads watching you or the walls bleeding. But the really fun stuff doesn't come until you're a drooling pile of crazy. What happens? Well I won't spoil any surprises, but let's just say that the good stuff might fool the unwary into thinking that their GameCube is experiencing technical difficulties. So there it is, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Best GameCube game ever. Who will pick it up? Mario? Doubt it. Zelda? No way. Maybe StarFox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet. But the smart money is on the latest, long-awaited Metroid game coming later this year. I suppose that I'll have to pick that one up and see. Until then I've got plenty to tide me over. Okay, so the past two posts have been rants about some geek-related thing or another, so tomorrow will just be a good, old-fashioned, boring Steve's life entry. 'Til then keep those sanity meters high. Current mood:  crazy.Current music: Billy Idol - Rebel Yell (seriously!). |
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